write-from-home

We recently discussed twittering about underwear when on cold medicine. Today I’d like to talk to you about guest posting about scarecrows while high off your ass on pharmaceuticals.

I know what you’re thinking. The Bloggess  is always high, and said highness has paved the way to very important opportunities such as talking about vaginas while introducing Guy Kawasaki. Also, Naomi at IttyBiz blogs drunk and sometimes topless , and look how many people now remember to proofread their tattoos and wear bras as a result. These women are changing the world!

Well, I’m not nearly as cool as they are. I don’t drink. And now that I quit smoking, pretty much the most exciting thing I do is nicotine gum and, well, you can’t even blow a bubble with that shit.

Then a week and a half ago my dentist got halfway through pulling my tooth before deciding to believe what I’d told him about novocaine not working on me. Then I had to wait four days with a half pulled tooth to get into the oral surgeon who knocked me out to pull the tooth, but then part of my root broke off and he had to carve a hole in my sinus to try to get it out but he couldn’t get the root. He also couldn’t fix the hole. So basically, I now have a root floating around in my face somewhere and too many extra holes. (And if you’re in the dental industry and reading this, I would like to take this moment to mention that if you leave a broken off ANYTHING inside the body of a person with OCD, telling her you’ve done so is a very very VERY bad idea. I’d have been fine with not knowing. Just sayin.)

So in the past week I’ve been upgraded from Darvocet to Demerol, which should explain to you why I forgot it was Wednesday and there was no hump day reading this week. I’ve still been twittering, but basically my tweets (twits? twitters?) are so insane normally that I’m pretty sure no one has noticed. Except for maybe a few of my lawyer clients who cyberstalk me as a hobby, but soon they’ll be reading this post and then they’ll know what’s up.

But anyway, this post was supposed to be about not guest posting while under the influence of painkillers. Since I’m currently under the influence of painkillers, I’m feeling simultaneously extremely qualified and unqualified to write this post. Actually, that’s a lie. Because I don’t feel anything at all. Except I’m pretty sure a minute ago I felt The Lost Root creeping up through my frontal lobe, kinda like if someone tells you there’s a spider in the house you then feel like the spider is crawling on you while you sleep for the next 20 years even though spiders probably don’t live that long, but they could have had babies. (Oh wait, maybe that’s just me?)

Um. Yeah. So I posted at Liz Strauss’ blog about What The Wizard of Oz Taught Me About Business Success . I don’t actually remember writing it, but I’m pretty sure I did because my name is on it. 

What’s wrong about guest posting while high off your ass on pharmaceuticals? Well, mostly the potential that no one will notice the difference. Also, there’s the possibility of writing a post like this one to talk about it, and then that’s just a neverending cycle of stupid.